There was a boy whose name was Tom,
Who made a high explosive bomb,
By mixing up some iodine
With sugar, flour and plasticine
Then, just to make it smell more queer
He added Daddy’s home-made beer.
He took it off to school one day
And when they all went out to play,
He left it by the radiator
As the heat was getting greater
The mixture in the bomb grew thick
And very soon it seemed to tick
Miss Knight came in and gazed with awe
To see the bomb upon the floor
“Dear me”, she said “it is a bomb,
An object worth escaping from”
She went to Mr Holliday
And said in tones that were not gay,
“Headmaster, this is not much fun
There is a bomb in classroom one!”
“Great snakes” said he, and gave a cough
And said, “I hope it won’t go off!
But on the off chance that it does
I think we’d better call the Fuzz”
A policeman came and said, “Oh, God,
We need the bomb disposal squad
Some firemen and a doctor too,
A helicopter and its crew
And, since I’m shaking in the legs
A cup of tea and hard boiled eggs!”
A bomb disposal engineer
Said, with every sign of fear,
“I’ve not seen one like that before,”
And rushed out, screaming, through the door.
Everyone became more worried
Till Tom, who seemed to be unflurried
Asked what was all the fuss about?
“I’ll pick it up and take it out.”
He tipped the contents down the drain
And peace and quiet reigned again
Tom just smiled and shook his head
And quietly to himself he said:
“Excitement’s what these people seek,
I’ll bring another one next week!”
David Hornsby
