In this blog, we revealed how we had spotted the elusive John’s Lane resident in his unnatural habitat, evading the eye of his landlord, Rhodia Limited. He was extremely irritable and choleric on that occasion on account that the chemicalsters had wanted to evict him from the site, (or at least bury him under the water), but since our last visit it appears that he has become more chilled out with life…..
“The Tramp Phosphorus” at Rattlechain Lagoon
Q. Willam Peter, How are you?
A. Oh I’m enjoying life down at the chain at the moment. The sun is shining and the water is lukewarm.
Q. So what have you been up to since we last met?
A I’ve become politically active. I’ve joined a union of tramp chemicals- The Chemical Union Network of Tramps. Our General secretary Bob McCyanide has reinvigorated my juices, and now together with my other toxic brothers and sisters we intend to campaign for change!
Q. And what change would that be?
A. A change in attitude young man. As Bob says, “Willy Peter, it was not your fault when other tramp phosphorus was dropped on people in Gaza or Iraq. People should not be so easily burnable and try living in underwater communities like yourself- then they would not have been injured.” The media are so insensitive to us chemical tramps- I’m not a “chemical weapon”, I’m a chemical being!
Q That sounds pretty warped thinking to me.
A. Not at all dear boy Secretary McCyanide is right. They had some problems down Trinity Street a few years ago with tramp phosphine taking to the air in a hot air balloon. Rhodia say that “no one was injured”. People were taken to hospital, but “no one was injured”. It’s all about the spin you see, just like politicians. I’ve become a bit of a political animal myself and I’m backing the party of fire. It has to be Jeremy for leader. I’m told I could become a celebrity lookalike, but I might have to find a suit to put on. Yes, I’m thrilled that I along with other affiliated members, all of us in C.U.N.T together have a voice in todays Labour movement.
I might even see if I can get onto the local shortlist to become a councillor in Sandwell.
Q Er… Well best of luck with that one I’m sure they are well acquainted with your union. Would you reintroduce Clause Four?
A Oh yes, but I would rename it Clause P4 after yours truly. I am a stakeholder at Rattlechain, because I am polluting it after all.
Q So have you been having any trouble with the gulls lately, on account of the horror stories around the country concerning attacks?
A No I can’t say they trouble me at all. I throw them a few crumbs from time to time, it’s nice to have the company, now all those Belgian folks have gone.
I stand on the pier and look across the waters at them. I even had one land on my shoulder and start nibbling at me, but alas it died. I can’t think why?
Well thanks for sharing your thoughts with us again Tramp Phosphorus, I’m sure that we will see you again down the line. I’d offer to shake your hand , but I fear I might get burned.
Au revoir
WLBRL